Our Closet Love Affair with Ryan Gosling and Emma Watson

Let’s face it. Romancing these two actors is, at best, a mere figment of our imagination. Granted not all of us are infatuated by them, yet there is no doubt that both are heralded as the mainstream crushes of our generation. They’re talented, good looking and might I add, reasonably sane representations of our respective genders, given the infinite number of famous cuckoos out there.

Wise words from one such cuckoo member of the Jersey Shore.

Caveat lector: I am not liable for any increases in the rhythmic contraction of your heart from viewing  the following GIFs. It is of your own involuntary creation and concern.

Let’s change it up and start with the man first. 

Mr. Gosling surely hatched into a fine specimen from the gene yolk of his momma goose.

How am I so utterly adorable? Sssh, it’s a secret I won’t tell!

Ah, the ever classy Ms. Watson. Ask any man (or woman) if she’s hot and you’ll get a “No shit, Sherlock!”

A quick glance at her evolution from bushy hair Hermoine to anatomically attractive Burberry model will make you wonder what kind of magical potion the rest of us would need to emerge so flawlessly unscathed from puberty.

Did I say Hermoine to Hotness? I meant Watson to Darwin.

Love at First Sight

Say we got the chance to meet Emma and Ryan (sounds like a couple in an episode of MTV Teenage Moms) in person.

I would expect a lot of this on loop.

You just can’t say No to them

Emma can lure any man with her charm.

Ryan can do the same bare-chested (sometimes, with a shirt on as well.)

Their expressions are rather inviting.

Tongue firmly in cheek, Emma.

Okay, okay. I’ll get in the water. Jeez.

They can be temperamental, just like us

Oh god, why? Why did you make me the Adonis of this era?

Your paucity of swag is giving me the hives. The exit door is right behind you, literally.

At times, they are clueless about life, just like us

Better to be hot and honest Ryan Gosling, than be hot and dumb Ryan Lochte.

Whatever the hell you said, I concur!

They respect our feelings

That’s right Ryan — everyone is beautiful.

Or, maybe not.

They dance like us!

Yeah, shimmy shimmy those well-sculpted muskles.

Ron: “Is it normal that I’m getting just a tad dizzy?”

They have that whole crinkly nose thing going on that can melt anyone’s nasal mucus.

Bite me, I’m catty.

It’s contagious, really.

Because they really speak to some part of our non-sexual organs. Our soul, that is.

Your wish is my command.

Unconditional love right there, folks.

Finally, let’s shed some light on the two movies that propelled these young and artistically maturing starlets into the glaring spotlight.

The Notebook: As much as it is based on a novel which is based on a supposedly true story, I detest the overly exaggerated expectations of romance in this movie. To articulate my feelings, watch this trailer. It is hilarious.

Harry Potter Series: I absolutely adore everything in the books that inspired these movies. Nonetheless, this trailer is equally Potty(er)some as the last one. JK….Rowling!

Ryan and Emma have enough sex appeal to make us hit our books (Image source: Engineer memes)

ryan studying

emma studying

Which reminds me – stop wasting any more of your time here — Go do some real work!

No, seriously 🙂

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