The Sexiest Thing You Can Do to Impress a Woman

In this age of competing dating apps to find love, it is evident that the efforts invested in wooing a mate have been on the decline.

Case in point:

tinder2

Quick Lovin’

Many working class folks do not have the time to find love in reality, so romance has become increasingly virtual. This can work to our benefit for the feelings we may be nervous to convey in person, we can convey through the typed word, or as teenagers commonly call as it as – sexting. Different relationship networks cater to this trend more than others.
For example, singles on Match.com or eHarmony site are looking for more meaningful companionship than say, a Tinder user, whose reviews suggest it is less about soulful connections and more about showing your goods.
Other dating apps like OkCupid or Zoosk would probably fall somewhere in the middle as it is difficult to ascertain the objectives of the crowd out there. Some find everlasting love and some just about manage one response.  

My OkCupid Adventure

I joined OkCupid for a total of 3 days and I must admit that it was quite the eye-opening and humor inducing experience.

This is the kind of response you are likely to get if you are a 20 something woman working in the City.

photo (3)

Once I provided some basic details about myself and suggested that I am open to friendship with men only between the ages of 26-28, I received some rather interesting responses…..many from men who were not in that age threshold.

Sample 1: Here is a 31 year old man who mentioned everything about himself in a one sentence without pause. He enjoys “fine wining” which sounds like what bored housewives do when they want to complain to their husbands. Your intrusion has been pardoned.

okcupid1  

Sample 2: This 34 year old man knows he is not getting a response so he made sure to let me know how’s he doing before I asked him. 

okcupid3

Sample 3: Here’s a 40 year old dude (mind you, I am only 25).
Luckily, the message is rather harmless. It was nice reading about yourself too. LOL

okcupid2

Sample 4: This was the most incestuous comment I have ever received in my life. But hey, it can’t be worse than a Game of Thrones romance. Boy, you had me at “cook for me.”

okcupid4

This is not the first time I have witnessed such a trend.

Here is one example of an older stranger sending me a message on FB. Before reporting his profile, his timeline showed that he is married and has a daughter of his own.

fb creep

I once had a 50-something co-worker invite me to his house on the day his wife was out of town, send me a hoard of non-work related emails, and threw around terms like “sexy” and “hot” in reference to me. I made every attempt to avoid him at work until I finally left the place. In retrospect, I should have filed a complaint. And based on my conversations with other women my age, this is rather commonplace.

Statistics on Creepy, Older Men hitting on Younger Women

The President/co-founder of OkCupid actually did a study on this matter. He graphed the age group of women that men typically desire using data from his own site. Here are the troubling results:-

trends

 

Source:- Jezebel Article

In short, the older the man gets, the younger the women he wants to be paired up with.
[I have Khans, Akshay Kumar and Ajay Devgan of Bollywood to thank for that. Also bimbette heroines like Sonakshi Sinha and regressive directors like Prabhudeva are equally to blame.]

kumar

Contrast this with the women who are desiring men similar to their own age.

trends

 

The “Rise” of Unsolicited Dick Pics

Speaking of older, creepy dudes hitting on younger women — In 2011, US House of Representatives member Anthony Weiner used an alias account on Twitter to send sexually suggestive material (aka pictures of his wiener) to a 21 year old woman. And after many denials, he finally admitted to sending more such images to other women during his marriage. Eliot Spitzer also made headlines for having ties with a secret prostitution ring. On a similar note, Tiger Woods was having plenty morning woods with women half his age, whilst being wedded to rather gorgeous wife. These trends are unsettling because it is exactly the kind of behavior that feeds the preying on little girls and younger women by older pimps into the world of sexual trafficking.

photo (72)

Source of Image: People Magazine

How NOT to Impress a Woman

Needless to say, unsolicited images of male genitalia has become quite the (unfortunate) common trend.
The Tinder app provides the most comic relief when it comes to exemplifying the art of instant gratification.

Example 1: If she doesn’t respond, make it clear that there are no negotiations with your wiener

tinder1

Example 2: Showing off your exemplary poetic skills

tinder poem

Example 3: Using the political climate to demonstrate your horniness

tinder3

How to Impress a Woman

Evidently, the written word has lost much of its grace.

So, here I propose a solution.

First and foremost — show interest in women in a reasonable age group as you.

With the advent of smartphones and wifi access everywhere, I get that it is easy to share nudes faster than we share our goals about the future.
Still, I encourage you to demonstrate your creativity in better ways that will be sure to floor her.

Perfect example 🙂

love writing

Or sing a nice song, or create whatever you can with your wit, kind humor, and good grace. I assure you, the rest of the nudity will happen in due course 😉

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This entry was posted in Biology, Comedy, Environment, Feminism, Humor, Imagination, Morality, Nature, Peace, Poetry, Prostitution, Reading, Sarcasm, Satire, Science & Nature and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to The Sexiest Thing You Can Do to Impress a Woman

  1. Roxi says:

    WOW……ahh, Sakshi, I am grateful for your humor 🙂

  2. that is one funny article i read after a long time. If I have had half of writing skills you have I would have been a millionaire by now somehow.I guess i need to go through all your old posts without fail

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