Common Phrases Heard by Indian Women of Marriageable Age

Below are real quotes that I or my girlfriends have been witness to.

“Marry because the boy’s family is well-off”

I once met an aunty who repeatedly told my mom about how many plots of land they own in Delhi. And she was concerned why I still wasn’t showing interest in her son.

Look lady, do you have a fallout shelter in case of a nuclear explosion?

Do you have the necessary tools to survive a zombie apocalypse?

If not, I’m sorry you are not well-off 😛

funny image 2

“Is she healthy enough to produce an offspring (son)?”

Thankfully, I maintain a calendar with records of my monthly menses, dating back to circa 2003.
With such regular oil-changes, my womb of a vehicle can go from zero to conception in no time.

funny image 1

But I must warn you, I made a deal with Goddess Kali to only house XX chromosomes 😉

Now, does the man keep a record of his ejaculations and vaccinations?
[p.s Adoption is also a great recourse.]

“Will she worship our God?”

Let me illustrate the redundancy of this question with a joke.

3 men were about to die on a sinking ship.

The Christian thanked Jesus.

The Muslim thanked Allah.

The Hindu was too busy trying to figure out which of the multiple Gods to thank.

It doesn’t matter who your God is. Just try being a good human being till the time you end up on that last ship of your life.

“Can you cook for him?”

Every women in my family has been asked this question by a member of the prospective groom’s family.

funny image 3

Does your son know how to perform an activity that provides sustenance and can possibly save his life?
Knowledge of cooking is important for all. One can only survive on restaurant food for so long.

Plus, who doesn’t love to eat?

“Why haven’t you waxed your arms?”

True story – When the groom’s family visited my friend’s home to fix the alliance, she was asked this question by the man. It didn’t work out for obvious reasons.

If anyone has watched PK recently, you will see Aamir Khan, Sushant Singh Rajput, and even Ranbir Kapoor with perfectly clean chests. But we all know Indians are hairy in reality.

pk

Men and women of all ethnicities grow body hair. Just because Bollywood has brainwashed us to think otherwise doesn’t mean every Indian woman has the smooth arms and legs of a Katrina Kaif.

Self-grooming is great but with our busy lives, you will catch us at our non-depilated moments too. We are human after all 🙂

“Do you really need to work after marriage? I make enough”

Financial independence is a wonderful thing. Neither spouse has to beg the other for money each time they wish to purchase something for the house or themselves.

If both spouses are working and busy, sanity is achievable. Plus more savings for the future!

“How will you ‘behave’ in front of your in-laws?”

If you are a girl living in India, chances are that you have been asked this question multiple times. From an early age, we are provided training to appease the boy’s family, as if our freedom is somehow marring the reputation of our maternal home.

When my friend and I were leaving for a party, the first thing her parents told her was – “Wait till we get you married. Your in-laws will not allow you to attend such events.”
I don’t recall them ever questioning their son.

Women are scrutinized and restricted more for their life choices, whether it be their careers or social life. Men– you may have observed this with your mother, sister and girl friends.

funny image 4 

“Oh, she is from abroad? Those women cause more divorces”

Let’s eradicate this notion that there are more successful marriages in India than in the US.

With the exception of one aunt who is school teacher, all the ladies of my family are housewives. The primary reason their marriages have survived is because of their tolerance in meeting the constant demands of their in-laws and extended relatives.
It is akin to college ragging where the saas will do the same with her bahu that was done unto her by her saas.

This mentality is changing with literacy and empowerment of women.

india 3 

If a marriage is sincerely not working out, or one partner is abusive or violent, divorce is a necessary step for the benefit of both and their children. Social stigma and lack of financial resources prevent women from leaving.

Laws do need to become more gender neutral so they don’t favor one over the other. But if you think they unfairly target men in cases of alimony, do see how much Halle Berry pays to her ex-husband.

Do share any absurd phrases of your own, if you have any. We will tackle them together 🙂 

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This entry was posted in Feminism, Humor, India, Self-empowerment, Strength of a Woman and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

7 Responses to Common Phrases Heard by Indian Women of Marriageable Age

  1. Having been born in the USA but spent a lot of time in India, I’d add that family involvement in Indian marriages make the less likely to divorce. My Indian papa made that observation. In America, families are involved with a match very little. The individuals decide and it doesn’t matter if anyone else agrees or not. As a result, there is also very little stopping them from falling apart.
    These comments bring to light important stigmas related with being a woman here. Thanks for gathering and posting.

    • Thanks for your comment 🙂 Yes, that typically works in arranged marriage setting but at times, that involvement (interference?) can be counter-intuitive. I’ve seen this in the marriages of one of my aunts who should have separated a while ago but continues to live in bickering circumstances due to family pressure to stay. Their marriage was never stable from the start. On the contrary, I have seen plenty solid marriages in the parents of my friends in the US. Divorce is just a poor stigma. For some, it can be a new start to life 🙂

      • Lol, that’s true, i could imagine that being a problem. Divorce is also extremely painful, though. Almost everyone in my extended family other than my parents have been divorced. It’s ugly, especially when there are children of any age involved. I do agree, however, that in abusive situations women need to have a way out. I dont know what to think about bickering. My sister and her husband do it all the time (it’s very annoying), and they even did it before they were married. My husband and i almost never argue, and never in front of other people. Maybe some personalities bicker… I don’t know what i think…
        My aunt ends up fighting and divorcing all her husbands. Sometimes its a problem in themselves maybe and they would be just as unhappy married to someone else.
        😉 just random thoughts.

  2. Reema says:

    Waxing arms is now a criteria?! Dammitttt there goes my chances

  3. Humorous compilation of events/phrases. And the images that you have put up are just too good.

  4. nice one….
    unfortunately true at many levels..that’s how our society is brought up…marriage is like the only thing left to do in our society once a boy gets a job or a girl completes her undergrad…
    i have a story..
    i completed my undergrad in 2009 and was placed in TCS…but it was time of recession and the joining was delayed (i was expecting it to get cancelled but anyhow industry gave us chance)..
    So here I was at my home in varanasi enjoying my lazy and free time just waiting for my joining letter to come…the wait lasted for 5 months…in the mean time I had two families who approached for me….I was baffled beyond my imagination…a 22 year old boy without any job doing nothing attracted so many bees only because he had the tag that “ladke ka TCS me ho gya hai”..like its a very big deal…
    the girl’s mother spoke to me for some time…initially i thought it was normal hi hello sort of stuff, then suddenly topic changed towards me getting married and no one is speaking to me..i gave a look to my father but he hinted not to make any scene…then the girl’s mother turned towards me and asked what do you think…i politely refused saying that I am not interested because I have to work on my career and pursue higher studies may 3 years down the line..so NOOO…the lady replied back – “to shaadi se kya dikkat hai…ladki thodi n padhai rokegi..wo to ghar pe rahegi”..this statement got on my nerve and I replied straight on her face – “to fir aap apne ghar pe hi rakhiye..jab mera time ayega..mai baat kr lunga”….my dad tried to change the conversation because he knew where I was about to go…Now my mother had paralysis at that time and she needed support to do chores…the lady changes her shitty train of thought and takes a mouthful of dump…she said to me “tumhari mummi kch kaam nahi kar pa rhi hai…to wo unko support bhi kar degi aur ghar ka kaam bhi ho jayega”…..generally I am a very cool guy but if someone tries to bring my mother into such non-sense, i lose my mind…just imagine a person recovering from some accident and you hint that he/she won’t be able to do anything on her own..what will this do to the will of victim…i still remember my mom’s face at that statement…that was it…i turned towards lady and said “mere ghar me teen 6 foot k insaan hai…apni maa ka khyal hum khud rakh sakte hai…apke family ki help nhi chahiye..dhanyawad”…and I left the spot..after 5 minutes the whole bandwagon left..later that night my father asked me not to directly refuse such things..i reasoned logically…but my dad said it impairs relations…but who the hell wants such relatives who don’t even have common sense in them…
    so this was whole shit and i was able to avoid it because i was a boy..i then realized that had I been a girl, my family would have finalized this shit then and there…
    i still know many people who just got married despite such conditions…
    even my girlfriend left me for a 4years older guy earning 3 lacs more than me and gave a dowry of ten lakhs to get married, although I was ready to marry her for free….instead I would have happily given dowry…i remember speaking with my girlfriend’s mother when she almost abused me to stop seeing her daughter because i was from different caste…and mind you I am quite ok looking guy and I earned reasonable at that time…she said that “hum celebrity to nahi hai jo apne man se shaadi kr lenge…aur kahi bahar se padh k nahi ayi hai k apne pasand ki shaadi kr legi…to ye bakwaas band karo nahi to accha nhi hoga”….and some more but I got the gist of it….
    so that’s how it is in our society..and when I say society i am excluding the posh societies who have seen some of the world…people say india is changing…unfortunately they only see mumbai, bangalore or delhi…even today most of india is plagued by all of the orthodox notions of how a person is supposed to behave…..
    well hopefully something changes….

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