How to Make a Delhi Man Fall in Love with You

1. Wearing Makeup that can Withstand Billions of Dust Particles

Indian beauty companies have a whole range of products to lure women which are, in turn, promoted as means to lure men.

cream

Whilst it is good to be natural, it is also good to know what suits you best so you can feel confident in front of your lover in that bipolar Delhi climate.
Personally, I like to keep my makeup routine quite simple – first I apply some sunscreen.
Then I apply a mosquito repellant cream to ward off those buggers.
Then some “carbon-activated” cream which apparently absorbs all the “micro-pollution” from underneath my face.
And viola, I am are ready to go!

face crean

2. Awaken the Accessorized Aunty Within You

Delhi is a hub of thrift stores and knowing how to haggle with a overpriced seller is a turn on for both men and women.
I am still getting the grasp of terminologies like – “chinese bordered kameez, chanderi chunni or georgette fabric for a sari with a net blouse.”

desi woman
However, I have gotten the hang of golden jhumkas on the ears and emboldened thumkas on the hips.

Kangana Ranaut

Flirting tip: Do keep a shrug or shawl in your purse to add some classiness to your sleeveless outfit. Every once in a while, casually drop that shawl to expose the epidermal tissue of your bare shoulders.


Of course, this method of wooing is not valid for Haus Khas Village, where men seem to expose more steroidal mass than your average WWE wrestler.

3. Know your Raastas

The Google Maps lady is not too familiar about Dilli ki sadkein. Major lanes are not a problem (though her pronunciation of them is hilarious), but she is clueless about those gallis that circumvent major roadblocks and traffic hotspots.
This is where you can step in.

Want to head over to Lodhi Gardens for some peace and quiet? Avoid the Mahatma Gandhi Marg/Ring Road route that typically has ten lanes of cars grinding each other instead of the appropriate four. Instead, go straight past Pilanji Gaon and take the roundabout to get onto Sri Aurobindo Marg, bypassing the “bheed” of Dilli Haat.

How about grabbing a quick bite at Bengali Sweets in South Ex? There is a neat shortcut when you enter the AIIMS gate on Yusuf Sarai and take the bylane of Ring Road to reach the Part 2 market directly, from where you can crossover. All that time saved can be utilized towards better things – like snogging at Lodhi Gardens 🙂

lodhi

Now, if you really want to grind his gears – discover parking spots in prime locations!

4. Eat, Burp, Pray to stay in shape

The reason why most people stay in Dilli is, I presume, for the food. Prime markets have their stalls of aloo tikkis and momos, and I never knew the deliciousness that is — the Indian Dominos!

Spice things up with a paneer tikka and paprika slice and some hot peppers for extra steaminess (excuse me as I go place a order now).
dominos-peppy-paneer
Dating in Delhi may not be as evolved as say, a New York City, but the platter of items to gorge on tends to compensate for everything else.

There are those neighborhood matar kulcha wala, sargon da saag and makki di roti at your local punjabi hatti, guud ke gajak, North and South indian thalis etc. – all of which immediately transport you to heaven.

Mutter-Kulcha
Venture with your Delhi man to some of the newer joints that have cropped up recently– namely SodaBottleOpenerWala which has splendid Parsi food and themed alcoholic drinks or Fatty Bao, for its yummy, kulcha like buns (bao) stuffed with an assortment of eastern spices and meats/veggies.
OK so maybe this point has little to do with love but you gotta keep your taste buds happy 🙂

5. Last but not least, Believe in Goodness of a Delhi Man’s Spirit

Seldom in any other capital of the world will you witness straight men so comfortable with each other’s friendship that they are willing to hold each others hands in public 🙂

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Delhi may have adopted an infamous reputation in light of scarring events but like any other populous city, you are bound to find aggressive and gentler species of men and women in equal measure.

By living here, I can attest to the fact that I’ve met a great variety of humorous and humble men. From the men who deliver my groceries using the Grofers app, or the Dry Cleaning wala who promptly picks up and delivers my saris, to even the kind Nepali man who has the best coconut stand outside Deer Park and even trusts me enough to pay him later – all these men reinforce my belief that Delhi has its share of noble men who just want to earnestly earn their bread.

So there you go folks – no need for that desi Tinder, or scheduling an appointment with your family astrologer.
You have my aashirwad, your Delhi man awaits 😛

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This entry was posted in Humor, India, Sarcasm, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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